Do you want to be a better mom? Are you giving it your all but have nothing left for yourself? Do you want to be a better version of you, once and for all? Let’s stop chasing materialism and aesthetics as #momgoals and get to the basics. We’re getting selfish in this post because it’s all about YOU. Start (or continue) your journey to being a better mom with these four realistic and attainable goals!
But first, what’s really preventing us from being the best mom?
Let’s begin by understanding what hindrances get in the way of truly being the best versions of ourselves in motherhood. If you are a mom, you’ll agree that becoming a mother instantly changes our routines. Suddenly we are at full speed on a path redirected from our norm. Every year prior to being a mother is learning who we are as an individual. Now, we’re someone’s mommy. The most important person we can ever be. Yet, who is that? This new norm (for some of us) is almost an identity crisis.
So, what is stopping us from being the best we can be in motherhood? We have an abundance of our own needs that we often tend to neglect to ensure the well-being of others. It is time. It is time to take back our energy. Time to stop feeding into every single thing that prevents us from being a better mother.
5 Things that inhibit our growth and put our mom goals on pause
Within each of us, there is a seed just waiting to bloom. You want more. You may be nodding your head in agreement and realize your “seed” (aka your potential) is not receiving the nourishment it needs. Here are five things holding you back from greater potential in order to truly be a better you, a better mom, and attain your mom goals.
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Fear
- Comparing yourself to others
- Striving for Perfection
- Time
4 Attainable Goals for Mom to Start Immediately
1. Have a Growth Mindset
As a mom, it’s in our innate nature to want the best for our children and for them to believe they can achieve anything. But, it’s easier to believe in achieving dreams when we see it firsthand. Therefore, a mother’s job isn’t just wanting this for her children, but showing them how to accomplish it. We can practice and model the steps toward achievement. Thus, our children will see and know the tools for their own success. They can see that their goals, dreams, and aspirations are attainable when the work is put into it. Despite setbacks, we can embrace the challenges and grow with the learning curve. It’s important for kids to see this, as it is something to be practiced.
Moms Can Grow their Minds, Too
Psychologist Carol Dweck describes a growth mindset as the belief that intelligence and abilities can be developed, as opposed to a fixed mindset. Click here to read more and see a great visual of the breakdown between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.
As a mother, we are constantly navigating challenges and having to adapt to changes, sometimes at a rapid pace. When we can build the growth mindset to learn from setbacks or embrace challenges, we quite literally are altering our brains. We can begin to view things with positivity, and more frequently. So, let’s imagine this scenario (or one that is personal to you). A mother has two young children. The challenge is getting out of the house and navigating the environment around you. There are two options, stay within your comfort zone of the house, or embrace the challenge and figure out ways that work for you and your children. You learn something new and your children get to relish in the experience around them.
When you practice a growth mindset, you think differently about your circumstances. It can change the results we are striving for. Perhaps the greatest tool in your mommy toolbox is your own mindset, and with that, you are unstoppable.
2. Self-Care
This piggybacks on the growth mindset goal. Taking care of your mind is self-care too. In addition, regular hygiene self-care is just as important for a mother. Admittedly, there are plenty of times when showering clearly wasn’t a priority in my day (iykyk). But, a shower can help us feel ready for the day. Daily habits that might slip our minds, like brushing and flossing teeth regularly-this helps to keep cavities away. That may seem obvious, but once we get those cavities and/or neglect to get those taken care of in a timely manner, it just makes the issue worse (think root canal). Make your doctor’s appointments. Make time for yourself.
All of this and more is the self-care that a mother needs. Mothers can only give their best when they feel their best. Some of this might seem like common knowledge, but it can become difficult when you exert nearly all your energy into raising children. You make sure everyone around you has all that they need. Why would taking care of yourself be any different? Make it a goal to be a priority in your own life, too. And don’t budge on it.
3. Personal Reflection
Often times we’re so busy in the hustle and bustle of the day-to-day that we don’t stop to think. We seek our “quiet time” in the presence of social media and neglect our own thoughts. Personal reflection is important. It helps to build your character, give purpose to your actions, and make sense of your own reasonings for things.
Do you really want to be a parent that says “no” all the time? Or, would you rather redirect your child to better choices so they have the right tools for thinking through their actions themselves next time? Did that sentence make you think about your own parenting?
Self-reflect on things. On anything. But remember, be realistic in your thinking and let it guide you toward a better you.
4. Kick perfection to the curb
Ironically, to be perfect is one of the hindrances to being a better version of ourselves. The reason for saying this is simply the disappointment we feel in ourselves when we fall short of the unrealistic expectations we set. Rather than trying to perfect everything we do, it may work better in our favor to work towards improving things. This gives us a goal that we can celebrate when there is growth, rather than harping on the failure of reaching too high.
How can we set attainable goals to be a better mom?
Self-reflect (yes, again). What’s keeping you from being your best self? Ask yourself questions. Why is your energy low? What makes you frustrated or angry? Is there something missing in your own life?
Once you have self-reflected, you can begin to fill the gaps in your life that lead you toward being a better mom.
Create an action plan to achieve the goals. Think about what you personally can do to help yourself accomplish your goals. There are different ways to break down a plan of action, but typically they follow the same patterns:
- Define your goal
- List tasks
- Recognize and prioritize tasks & set deadlines
- Designate tasks
- Monitor progress
Put it into motion. Seriously, do it. And, get serious about it.
Making the goals all about YOU (and your children, of course)
I think we can agree that the ultimate meaning of mom goal is to be the best mother to her children. A mother provides the best she has to offer, more than she had herself, and sets her children up for success. The greatest gift to our children is time. When we try to obtain unrealistic goals as a mother (think the extravagant aesthetic of our house or making five-star meals every meal) then we are missing the bigger picture. Our undivided attention, happiest selves that can really enjoy the moments and memories with our families. A mom can only give so much of herself if she is not taken care of too. Mom needs to thrive just as much as her children in order to be the best mom to her children: the ultimate mom goal.
Tools & Resources to Successfully Master Mom Goals
If you’re looking to incorporate encouragement in your journey to attain your goals, don’t hesitate to create an inspirational playlist of Podcasts for moms-especially if you’re a mom on the go.
If you prefer to delve into a book so you can really visualize and digest what it has to offer, check Christian Women’s Speaker, Alli Worthington. You can grab her published book Remaining You while Raising Them: The Secret Art of Confident Motherhood.